I found this on another blog, Rachel Cook's Minti Blog
It's pretty funny. The only thing I would add, Benefit: Loving more than you ever thought possible and true happiness when you hear your child laugh.
>> MUM - JOB DESCRIPTION
>> This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, no one
>>would have done it!!!!
>> POSITION :
>> Mother, Mum, Mama, Mummy, Mumma, Ma, Mom, Mommy
>> JOB DESCRIPTION:
>> Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent
>>work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent
>>communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable
>>hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour
>>shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to
>>primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments
>>in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier
>>duties also required.
>> The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least
>>temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue
>>repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be
>>able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time,
>>the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be
>>willing to face stimulating technical
>> Challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously
>>sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain
>>calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must
>>have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all
>>ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
>>an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing
>>of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must
>>always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final,
>>complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
>>Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work
>>throughout the facility.
>> POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION:
>> Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position
>>for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your
>>skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
>> PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
>> None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a
>>continually exhausting basis.
>> WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
>> Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
>>A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that
>>college will help them become financially
>> Independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left.
>>The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually
>>enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
>> While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
>>reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job
>>supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for
>>life if you play your cards right.
>> Tell all the Mums you know, in appreciation for
>>everything they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are